We took Jenna to the doc today to have her heart checked out.  Her story is this … she was born with a imperfection of the heart known as VSD.  When she was around 2 years or so they opened her up and engaged in some patchwork.  Everything seemed to be successful (according to her Chinese medicals – which were actually very thorough); however, we wanted to have a pediatric cardiologist check her out … so we did!  This was to be a pain free morning … no shots, pricks, knocks or bangs.  Only stickers, wires and ekg gel.  Because she's 3 and speaks Mandarin, Jenna remained in the dark about the aforementioned details.  This led to some tears of unsureness.  She really wasn't too keen about the situation initially but in time arrived at a place of comfort and ok-ness.  The question is what brought her here?  How did she over time transition from tears to smiles?

I have had some fairly dramatic, flag planting moments occur in my life over the last 6 months or so.  Things that can breed an unstable, unsure sense in the gray matter.  Things that can throw up emotional false reds while logic knows that God is backing me up.  The spirit reassuring while the flesh continually questioning.  Just like Jenna I was unable to trust beyond the moment and understand that God's doctor visits are for the purposes of spiritually healing and maintaining.  Although I may self induce a pain due to sin, many times the tears shed are not required.  They are merely an unnecessary fear response to a moment completely controlled by our great, soveriegn God, who loves us and wants to protect us from all harm.  I got to believe this – in my head and my heart– that God is the maker and designer of both emotion and logic.  They work hand in hand to glorify his goodness.

So … what brought Jenna to a place where the tears dissolved and she was ok with her situation?  Had to be trust and a bit of familiarity.  She reached into her experiences and settled into the fact that minus a few shots here and there these people are here to help her.  I also think that she is resting in the comfort of parental trust (especially Anna).  I think that she is realizing that we love her and desire to protect her from all harm. 

Sound familiar?  God Almighty, through his son Jesus, wants the same for his children… only difference is that his way is perfect!  We have to be ok with that … right??